On this Valentine’s Day, I send this Valentine to my sons.
I have no doubt there was a plan in bringing these two to me.
When my family knew I was having a boy the first time around, they said it was all wrong. They couldn’t imagine me with a boy. I was such a girly-girl.
And yet, maybe they didn’t know that one of the reasons I married my husband was because of he and his brothers’ love for their mom. I found it beautiful, inspiring…desirable.
I wanted my first child to be a son.
And he was.
A son so like me.
In looks, in thoughts, in actions.
And yet, he took all of what I was to the next level, with a touch of my husband, thereby making him so unique.
His musical talent came on quietly but deliberately. As we witnessed it blossoming, we discovered it came from the depths of his soul. He’s always been an old soul, so who knows all he channels? Music is inherently who he is, where he’s at his best. Notes ooze from his pores. We are so grateful to my sister for buying him his first Wal-Mart guitar; who knew what would present?
I got him. He was easy for me to understand although, as I said, he took it to the next level. He brought me deeper, farther. I marvel at his discipline. He challenged me intellectually. He debated me…in a respectful, thoughtful, compelling way. He changed some of my long-held beliefs.
My second son, in some ways, is quite different from me.
Where I can be scrappy and argumentative when feeling cornered, he is laid back and easy going. He is naturally collaborative and respectful. His strength is in his tolerance and acceptance, in the way he listens…and hears.
He is incredibly talented as an artist, in a way I’ve never personally experienced.
He’s quiet and introverted. As a child, he loved to be with me always – sitting in bed together reading, sitting and chatting with him as a toddler in the bath, at breakfast – but as an adult, he preferred his close-knit group of friends and only shared with us when he chose.
But when he did.
Like my first son, he has taught me so much. His career is completely foreign to me, but he’s patiently and brilliantly shared it with me in a way I can grasp and therefore grow to respect he and his colleagues’ abilities.
His way of being has broadened my mind to new ways of interacting with others, thinking, learning and communicating -- that tolerance and acceptance and patience may get us further than hard-charging or forceful natures. Who doesn’t want to be around someone who is consistently kind and even-tempered?
Both of my sons are thinkers. Enlightened by them, I believe I’ve changed for the better.
Somehow I have to believe that was the plan for me. These two men who have crept into my whole being have made me more. I have to believe that was intentional somehow.
Valentine’s Day is for lovers.
And who is more loved by a mom than her children?
I am grateful to have the privilege of being their mom and will always do my best to give to them what they’ve given to me.